Photos of Suffering Refugee Children No Good

By Joe Schaefer

Following news that President Trump’s about-face decision to release a salvo of missiles into Syria was in reaction to pictures of “beautiful babies…cruelly murdered”, immigration and refugee advocacy groups have been forced to admit their own images of child torment are woefully unattractive.

“These pictures have bad lighting, terrible composition, and frankly, a lot of unphotogenic kids,” confessed Naomi Sarwar, director of Refugee Council USA. “If we want to shift government policy by bolstering this administration’s sympathy for desperate populations displaced by war and famine, we really need to up our filter game.”

Sarwar admits it was a rookie mistake to assume hastily taken photos of child corpses floating in tide pools and splayed on the edges of refugee camps would have evoked compassion in the president. “How are you supposed to move public sentiment when you can’t even adjust the white balance,” added the director while sifting through a stack of gruesome stills. “These pictures aren’t up to snuff, no pun intended.”

The pro-immigration groups say they are looking to a variety of sources for inspiration moving forward, including the advertising world. “We want to give our horrific pics of infant agony the pizzaz you find in high budget marketing campaigns,” explained Sarwar. “Imagine the soul-withering sight of an emaciated child refugee, but with the viral engagement of a Pepsi ad.”

“Surely there’s not a red blooded American alive who could close their borders to that kind of sizzle.”