Trump Presidency An Elaborate Hoax


By Gus Tate

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Moments after falling 100 feet through a glass ceiling and landing in a black inflatable safety cushion carefully positioned in the center of the opulent Palace Hotel banquet hall last night, a shaken but otherwise unharmed Donald Trump learned that his “presidency” was in fact an elaborate birthday practical joke orchestrated by fellow billionaire Warren Buffett.

“But what about the election? The airstrikes? The red hats?” a disoriented Mr. Trump stammered to uniformed agents helping him to his feet.

 

“All part of the experience of a lifetime! Happy birthday, Donnie,” answered Mr. Buffett as an emotionally overwhelmed Mr. Trump staggered into his open arms and began weeping softly, grateful both to be alive and to not be president anymore.

Speaking to reporters later, Mr. Buffett thanked the numerous friends and trained actors who helped execute the hoax, including Melania Trump, CNN anchors, Syrian stunt-children, various foreign heads of state, and the entire American populace.

“It’s just so hard to find decent gifts for billionaires like us,” Mr. Buffett told reporters, explaining the motivation behind the prank. “What else do you get a man who has everything?”

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